Mark Twain has this great quote about Jane Austen that has graced my Facebook info tab for quite some time:
“I often want to criticise Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Everytime I read ‘Pride and Prejudice’ I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”
Twain-o isn’t the only person who wants to happy slap the remains of Ms. Austen. Many find her verbosity tiresome, and her characters insufferable. Well, those haters can suck it, because I think she’s awesome. And sexy.
The following video is my attempt to convince you of this. It includes seduction techniques for menfolk, gleaned from Pride and Prejudice. Enjoy.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Using Jane Austen as a tool to nail chicks….i like it. Also LOL@”success will come your way in the pants”
I agree – how you read the book makes *a lot* of difference.
I’m on the Twain train. Holding out for the follow-up: How to nail chicks without having to endure chick lit.
I mean, of course it works in THAT voice. So too would ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ or my mobile phone contract, if delivered in the same steamy tone. But you might just as well say: “The trick to enjoying this 200 year-old urinal cake, is to mash it up in a tall glass of fine ale.” Keep your stale trough rock, just hand me the pint. And the shin-bone.
Jayce: You’ve just given me so many more ideas. Hoo boy. I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on the Austen factor. Believe it or not, I have encountered men who like her stuff. I won’t name them for fear of embarrassing them. But they’re out there, hiding their copies of Persuasion among their porn collection.
You don’t need those glasses for these pieces to camera and you know it. You’re a ZZ Top clip waiting to happen. Who is Jane Austen and who is this D’Arcy fellow? Any why does he keep jumping off horses and throwing himself into ponds on his enormous family estate wearing semi-see through attire?
Andrew: I just watched a bunch of ZZ Top clips on YouTube but remain confused.
It’s possible that the wet t-shirt scene in Pride and Prejudice never appeared in the novel. But I reckon Jane would have approved if she’d watched the miniseries on DVD. She would have been all up in that Firthy goodness.
Anyone who wants Jane with a little bit more vim I would suggest Pride and Prejudice and Zombies:
http://www.amazon.com/Pride-Prejudice-Zombies-Classic-Ultraviolent/dp/1594743347/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244774096&sr=8-1
She totally copypasta’d that illustration from Wondermark.
Hi Ella!
Just some totally random thoughts and encouragement !
If I ever win lotto I have a plan to move to the country and buy 2 basset hounds and call them Bingley and Darcey, I could wear a tweed jacket and smoke a pipe as well!
The Boom thing that’s from Steve Jobs right?
More please – this was a pleasant and enjoyable distraction from doing any real work (unlike so much of the junk on the interweb).
Cheers
Hi!
I had to read at least one book from before 1900 for my English class, and I chose Pride & Prejudice because my mother and I watched the movie and she said that the book was way nicer. I am a boy and I actually liked it (especially because of the bit ancient English used in it), BUT, but, I have to re-read it now (because of your video): I read it in a little hurry, AND it might be fun to imagine a voice like your voice reading it out loud. OR you could, of course, record a podcast so I can actually listen to your voice. Of course.