The addictive nature of Facebook and Twitter appears to be based on one puzzling precept: that telling people you are doing something is better than actually doing it. Rather than being content to simply experience life in the real world, we feel compelled to report the details in real-time to an audience of Friends of Followers. (What’s that? There’s a beautiful sunset over yonder? Don’t waste time staring at the thing — TwitPic that sucker before it’s too late!)
This “responsibility” to immediately relate our activities makes us feel important. And in some cases, such as during a crisis, major event or when travelling, it can be useful — and gratifying — to keep everyone informed. But in an everyday context, the constant reportage can become competitive, compulsive and burdensome. In short, it can feel like a duty. And if you are prone to seeking a confidence boost via external validation, Facebook and Twitter can take your QWERTY-weary hand and lead you into the land of self-obsession.
Have you ever posted something online — a photo album; a particularly incisive tweet; a cryptic Facebook status update — and then spent the next half-hour reloading the page to see if people have responded? Yeah, me too.
Craving the attention of internet commenters — some of whom you’ve likely never met — is understandable, especially for people who spend a lot of time online. But when internet feedback starts to take precedence over advice from your mum and chats with meat-world friends, you can’t help but spend much of your real-life time wondering what’s happening on the web. This makes you mentally absent from the present. And if you’ve ever wanted to throttle someone for playing with their iPhone while you’re supposed to be lunching together, you know how infuriating that can be.
Twitter and Facebook are enticing because they allow us to have complete control over how we present ourselves. We can emphasise the exciting bits, post only the flattering photos and portray ourselves as exciting go-getters who always have something interesting to relate. We can say anything we want at any time, and publish it in a public forum. With this much freedom comes inevitable self-censorship and self-scrutiny.
If you’re a Facebook fiend, I bet you’ve occasionally thought of your daily life in terms of status updates. Ella is…waiting for her hair dye to develop. Ella is…wondering how many locusts constitute a plague. I bet you’ve also thought, “How can I make that sound funnier or more exciting?”
Similarly, if your poison of choice is Twitter, you may have paused before typing your first 140 characters of the day. “Is this interesting enough? Does this make me sound dumb? Will this be the message that makes me lose a follower?”
If you are feeling burdened by the expectations of your followers, or spending your vacation glued to your Twitter stream lest you miss out on something of dire import, it’s worth taking a step back and asking what you are really gaining from all this virtual reporting. I’m not suggesting you give up using social media — heaven forfend! — but I do recommend questioning how and why you are using it. If you bash out an update, send it into the digital ether and then get on with your day, all is good. If you angst over your phrasing, wince as you click “Post” and spend the next hour waiting for responses, it’s time to alter your approach. Living in public can make you feel pretty special, but not when it means sacrificing the enjoyment of the life you’re broadcasting.
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WOW your right! I used to question myself most of the time thinking about “what am I doing here?”, “what am I supposed to do?” or even worst “why are they having so much fun?”. So now I try to check my facebook once a week cause I don’t want to make my life feel worthless anymore.
btw thanks for confirming me on facebook^^