From the monthly archives:

June 2010

Schoolday memories

by Ella on June 19, 2010

London Eye

Pic by dcJohn

At the age of about nine, three friends and I formed the Friends-4-Ever Club. Heavily influenced by The Baby-Sitters Club, we would collect “dues” of one or two dollars each every week and produce newsletters photocopied at the office of someone’s dad. The content of these newsletters was always slight, consisting mostly of drawings of balloons and flowers and cats. Our club had no definitive purpose other than the promotion of friendship and general do-gooding. During lunch time we would stand at the school fence and ask passers-by to donate money to the club, reaching our hands between the bars of the gate like little urchins. Most people laughed. A few people gave us some change. Soon we lost interest.

In an attempt to save money at high school we’d buy a buttered roll and a flavoured ice block called a Lickstick for lunch. The buttered roll was 50 cents and the Lickstick cost 30 cents. We would get into heated debates about whether the black Lickstick was black or purple. It was blackcurrant flavoured. I always considered it to be purple.

In year 10 a substitute history teacher gave me detention. She called me antagonistic. I have never been so offended. It was the exact opposite of everything I wanted to be.

When I was 16 and anorexic I brought a small plastic container of tomato soup and two rice cakes for lunch. Juvena was going to the canteen, so I asked her to heat my soup. When she came back she showed me that the rubber seal on the container had melted into the plastic, fusing the edges and trapping the soup inside. I threw it against a brick wall in frustration. I felt powerless and angry and imprisoned by my own skin.

When I got really thin I had to gather my school skirt into folds and pin it in the back. I used a safety pin that mum had saved from when she used it to fasten my nappies as a baby.

I remember always being cold. I wore long-sleeved thermals to school. And when I sat down it hurt because the bones of my spine scraped against the plastic chair.

During the school holidays in year 11 a freak hailstorm damaged all the classrooms on the top floor. For months we had to have lessons in creaking portable rooms that had been installed on the grass field near the bear pit. (Our school was built on the site of the old Sydney Zoo, which closed in 1916.) The rooms were stifling in summer and desperately cold in winter, and the carpets were always ripped and frayed.

Our all-girl school was next to an all-boy school. It used to be separated by a fence, but that was gone by the time we were there. The boys’ school had Coke and vanilla slices in their canteen, but we had to make do with flavoured sparkling mineral water and chocolate chip muffins.

There was nothing as stressful as watching the wheels of a cassette tape slowly spin as you sat facing the stereo during a Japanese speaking exam. A piece of paper with English sentences sat on the desk, and you had to speak them in Japanese, remembering all of the tricky grammatical structures and particles that would be ticked off when the teacher heard the tape. You had five minutes to read the paper before pressing the record button. I used to rock back and forth, squeezing my hands together and reciting the phrases to myself in a frenzied whisper.

All the cool girls used to wear eight-hole Doc Martens instead of the brown leather shoes we were supposed to have. Once there was a uniform check during English, and Juvena was wearing white socks with little ladybugs on them. As the teacher made her way to the back of the classroom where we were sitting, Juvena painted the bugs away with Wite-Out. She didn’t get into trouble.

Being at school after dark always felt like an adventure.

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Scrambled thoughts on London

by Ella on June 17, 2010

London Eye

Pic by night86mare

Recently I made my fourth visit to London, this time courtesy of the good folk at CheapOair. (I won a competition that relied on chance and required absolutely no skill. Ego boost activate!)

The trip was of the whirlwind variety — five days — but I still managed to pack in a metric Thames-load of museums, sightseeing and unbridled but culturally contextual binge-drinking. Herewith, some highlights, recommendations, and general jetlag-addled blather.

Museums and galleries
There are some brilliant museums in London, and the vast majority are free. Yep, you don’t have to pay anything to browse the Greek sculptures that Lord Elgin stole carefully and lawfully acquired from the ruins of the Parthenon. Being accustomed to NYC museums like the Met, which makes a very, very strong suggestion that you pay the “donation” of $20, I found this policy rather jarring.

The clump o’ museums along Cromwell Road in Kensington (Natural History Museum; Science Museum; V&A) is well worth a visit. The Darwin Room at the NHM has a bunch of creepy specimens floating in formaldehyde, which you can examine during a private tour. In the Science Museum there are creepy life-size dioramas of 19th century medical procedures. But the best of the bunch is the V&A. Its smartly curated collection features an extraordinary cast court, which has plaster versions of European sculptures, tombs and architectural details. The most impressive is Trajan’s column, built in Rome in AD 113. They had to split it in two to fit it in the room. I mean, come on. Amazing.

V&A Cast Court

Trajan’s column at the V&A Cast Court. Unwashed nerd in foreground for scale.

As for other museums worth a look-in, The British Museum is your one-stop mummy shop. In addition to having an array of ancient Egyptian sarcophagi, desiccated body bits and decorative scarabs, it hosts the Rosetta Stone. The Tate Modern has the stuff that makes you say “I don’t get this; I hate it”, or “I don’t get this; I love it”. The Imperial War Museum in Lambeth is affecting — the Blitz and Holocaust exhibits will silence you into solemnity and bring home the meaning of holidays like ANZAC Day and Memorial Day.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is the Saatchi Gallery in Chelsea. The works within its walls are frequently anarchic and witty and it makes for a great palate cleanser if you’ve been traipsing around museums all day. The best artwork at the moment is by Richard Wilson: an entire room filled to waist-deep height with sump oil. You observe it from a platform, and for the first few minutes you have no idea what you’re looking at. The surface looks solid but reflective. Then you start to see ripples and realise the entire thing is liquid. Reader, it blew my mind.

Huggin Hill

Hug a Londoner today!

Nature and all that
London, your parks are impressive. Well done. There are also a lot of them. And they are huge. Regent’s Park, Hyde Park and Hampstead Heath are all so very English. The deck chairs, the rowboats, the manicured rose gardens, the ponds that people bathe in when it reaches a balmy 15 degrees Celcius: this is the Britain I came to see. Though the grit of New York has its charms, the sheer prettiness of these verdant enclaves is sigh-worthy.

But even when I’m on vacation, I like to remind myself regularly that I am going to die. It’s just part of the ol’ routine, you know? So I took a stroll through Brompton Cemetery. It’s peaceful and mossy and overgrown but not at all eerie. People ride their bikes along the paths. There was even a girl playing catch with her dad when I was there. I’m sure the residents didn’t mind.

Brompton Cemetery

This concludes your daily memento mori. Thank you for visiting Brompton Cemetery.

Social graces
There are a few things about London that you can appreciate no matter where you venture to within the city. The first is the prevailing civility. This is different to what I’m used to, both in my adopted home and my original one. New York is brash and wild and get-outta-my-way-already. Similarly, one of Australia’s hallmarks — many would call it a virtue — is the very casual manner in which people converse with one another. This can be seen in fleeting encounters (bus drivers, waitstaff) as well as with friends, and even between different levels of the workplace hierarchy. There is a lot of fast-tracked familiarity when it comes to addressing people, as evidenced in the fact that anyone whose name cannot be recalled is referred to as “mate”.

By contrast, your average London encounter is shrouded in social decency. People on the street, cashiers and train announcers get all Jane Austen on you, politely offering phrases like “I’m terribly sorry” and “Do bear with me for a spell while I extract this bandsaw from the gaping wound in my torso”. Such considerate language denotes respect and a certain reserved approach that I find most alluring. It reminds me of that scene between Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth near the end of Pride and Prejudice where they are confessing their mutual desire to hook up, couched in such beautifully restrained lines as “You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” Oh YES, YOU MUST. Hot.

Phone box

Call when you want, but there’s no one home, and you’re not gonna reach my telephone.

Supermarket food
However undeserved, England has a reputation for awful cuisine. But there is one ares in which it excels: decent lazy-single-person food. Oh, my word. Just drop into an M&S Simply Food or check out the organic readimeals from Sainsbury’s and Waitrose. Unlike New York supermarkets, where high-fructose corn syrup reigns supreme, you will find delicious, fresh things that your lazy ass can eat straight out of the box. If you are like me (non house-trained, more inclined to spend time dancing to Lady Gaga in your living room than bother whipping up a quick paella), London is your lazebot mecca. I was enraptured by the array of gastronomic offerings that require little to no effort expenditure before being transported from fork to mouth.

Thus ends my meandering trip report. Thank you, people of London, for showing me a good time. I will be back.

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The ups and downs of being a freelancer

June 6, 2010

My life is ridiculous. In a good way, mostly. And it has been that way for the last year and a half. To illustrate, here are some of the activities I engaged in over the span of a recent week:

Took a tour of a decaying castle on an island in the [...]

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